Late day writing - and you will see why

Not sure what last night's sleep was all about. But the good news was I went back into a deep sleep and came up against my "deadline" time for getting up - 6 a.m. Still no alarm used, but my body knew it was giving me all the time it could to recoup the tossing and turning from 2-2:30 a.m. Don't know if the fussy was was all about the door opening to new opportunities going on at school and my thinking that that door might be spring loaded...or the fact that I haven't heard back from the other school, or that I need to buy a lottery and power ball ticket tonight (which I did...) and take my future back into my own hands. Of course the humor there is that I have that power everyday of my life, but the lottery scenario makes it so much more "do-able"? The good news is I have not bad news in my life. But the bad news is I know I have the power to make it a million times better "with no quick pick required".

Tuesday night was uneventful. I did run into my neighbor's mom outside my apartment on my way into the building and she is always glad to see me. She has been that way for me since I started "hanging out" (if 4 yr olds "hang out") at her house and starting being her daughter's best friend when I was 4 years old. She always makes me feel like I make her day and I know she makes mine. She also answered a question for me as to where to find the closest Home Depot. I wanted to go look at some of the things that sister #4 was looking at to re-do her house. And, I had to come to the conclusion that she is doing just fine in her choices without my assistance. I hate that! Oh well.

Then I came home and am embarrassed to admit that on my way up the few basic cable channels, I went past HOUSE and did not get to CSPAN and stayed right on The Last Dance with Patrick Swayze!!! It paled in comparison to one of my all time favorites - Dirty Dancing - the chronicle of my forbidden fruit choice in men...but it still got me. There is something about Patrick Swayze dancing. Where is Patrick these days? Maybe that is what upset my night's sleep. Some people get unsettled from horror or sci-fi films - for me it is seeing Patrick Swayze look a bit aged and that can only make the leap to the vision of my aging process. Another "Oh well".

Had a good walk this morning - even though I am running on coffee, water and green tea - food just didn't "feel right" today. I guess I am going for the cleansing fast process. Or it might be that I got up too late to have breakfast and I was too cheap to go out and buy lunch since the dining hall is not opening back up until tomorrow. And that going home for lunch thing I did yesterday did not work for me today. The dining hall has only been closed for 3 days but it seems like forever. And I know my anticipation is building for next week when we are back to rich girl food rather than camper food selection we have had all summer. I think that is another reason I am fasting, so I can cleanse my palette for what is to come!

The walk this morning was with my co-walking, co-worker and our former co-walking, co-worker now organic subsistence get off the grid farmer. Once a week or so, she likes to move from being up to her neck in farm dirt to being up to her neck in her old workplace's "dirt". It is always a loud-talking, laughing morning when she joins us much to the chagrin of the people who living in the neighborhoods we walk. We try to use our inside voices, but sometimes it just doesn't work.

Tonight I got sworn at the Town Hall so I am ready for the first meeting of the town committee I have volunteered. Then I went for another walk. The weather is way too cool for August and I am missing these last days of town pool time before the kids go back to school next week but I know that the lifeguards hate keeping the pool open for one old swimmer. Hope it will get warmer as predicted by week end. And I need to look at a beach trip over the weekend.

My boss had an all day retreat today with the school management team. I will be curious how many reports I get about her showing up 45 minutes after the posted start time. She never shared the schedule with me, so I could really assist her in getting there on time...it never ceases to amaze me how some people have no qualms about consistently showing up late. I know I am obnoxious on the other end of the spectrum (if you are not 10 minutes early, you are late) but I would be embarrassed if I were her. But on so many levels, I am so glad I am not her. And I am sure the feeling is mutual. I am waiting for her to see "the light" and she for me to do the same.

I realized when I was writing my rent check for September that I am coming up against the 2 year anniversary of leaving my last real job. August 31, 2005 - 4 months after my son graduated from college and at the end of a very thoughtful (painfully thoughtful) summer thinking of what is ahead. I did not want to take the kind of "header" I took the Fall after he left for college and my life was thrown up in the air. My son had set his post college sights on NYC and I felt the need to re-set my sights. I do a lot of re-setting... I have not gotten another real job yet and that is the good news. The bad news is I have gotten enough little work to keep me from writing the memoir EVERYONE I know is waiting for - MINE! (The Glass Castle lady and/or Anne Lamott have nothing on me!!!) But going along with my Libra "pattern" - good news, bad news; balance the scales - I am moving into an action season - so maybe that will be my action. Fall and spring are action seasons; winter and summer are planning seasons. I could go on and on about my "way" - no wonder one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes is the "Even Stephen" one.

I think I have now passed from fasting to delirious. I want to say "have a good weekend", but it is only Wednesday! This has been the longest week I have felt in a long time. I will not take you into the analysis of that issue today.