Email to a co-worker

A co-worker made the mistake of emailng me and asking "How are you doing?. Here is what she got.

Also, my cosmic guidance for today - I will try to keep this in my mind as I go through the week..."You are likely to be rather assertive on Wednesday when the Sun aspects Pluto, planet of power, but try not to offend too many people or the Sun's change of signs 24 hours later could see you on the receiving end. Always treat people with respect."

"What a mess! We are back in the hospital as of Saturday at 11:30 a.m. Mother was in so much pain and had a temperature that my father overrode his own decision that she was not going back to hospital - and he had had conversations with all the kids to make sure we would support him - but then the level of pain mother was in on Saturday morning was impossible for the home to handle without new orders from doctors. We are going to try and remedy that at the end of this visit to the hospital. Mother is with that thought also and was a bit unsettled when our father said yes to taking her to the hospital this time.

You of all people know how I feel about systems that do not work! And for me and the health care system to have to interface...not a pretty picture. But we are constantly readjusting what our expectations are for mom's recovery - but there is a lot of emotion evolved and 6 lovely children and one cranky father trying to get their heads around that thinking.

I have given MANY of the UCONN health center employees my "powerpoint presentation" on why I opted out of heath insurance coverage at my workplace because I want to do everything I can to make sure I never am put into the medical care pipeline.

The fact that patients in the hospital have to have someone with them at all times is incredible - but I now see why. They would have once again lost track of the fact that my mother is a cuomadin (sp?) user because she was admitted yesterday for the pain and a possible infection. If my sister and I had not been through this "inconsistency of care" situation before I would not have thought to ask the question last night about "when will she be getting her cuomadin?" I would hate for her to have a major stroke because of an oversight of a medical professional. Quality of Life is our mantra now but we have to deal with so much "bologna" (my other family member use other words) to get her to a place where "the home" can do what they need to do to make that a reality.

I am thinking you are sorry you emailed me...but I appreciate it. I almost called you yesterday because you have a better perspective on my work/life "issues" in a more current setting than anyone else. I think I have shared with you that I am at a Pilar Schmidt level of "affection" for Ms. Erin. In my true belief that there is no such thing as coincidence - it is a "good" thing that I am going through this personal crisis this year and not last! It would have killed me to not be there for you - even if it was my more neurotic need rather than a true work necessity, but I feel that Erin, Jamie, Kristen and Farrell need to earn their money this year - I just hope they all decide what it is that they are being paid to do. And I hope that Bessie and Erin have a shared vision. But the fact that I even have work thoughts or aspirations during all this speaks to my "issues". And I am on my way in to the office as we speak. "Work, the home/hospital, home, repeat" is a pattern I can do right now.

Good news has come from the fact that UCONN Health Center is a great walking place and "the home" allows me to leave my car at my parents' house and walk back and forth and it is close to Blue Back as food becomes an issue. Sister #1 came up from DC yesterday. She is a bit worn out. She has her last day in the Peace Corps office on Friday. She will start her job in Baltimore a week from tomorrow. She closed a huge chapter of her life. I think Peace Corps is wishing they could change the rules for her and their "term limitation" policy. She has been such a power in that organization for so long and unfortunately the Democrats are getting in (I hope) one term too late for her to be a political appointment. (As to elections, Paul Krugman (sp) had a great column in the NYTs on Friday). Sister #3, we are lucky that she does not have to think about work (I cannot get there yet regardless of my "AA" position) and be there all day and night with mother. Sister #4 (your alma mater grad) is our baking queen. I think "crafty" must have been a prerequisite for your alma mater's admission. She is keeping father in cookies and food items. Brother is being the only son - I cannot even start to understand what he is going through. I know how different the son-mother relationship than the daughter-mother. And the fact that my mother was his nurse when he recovered from a very serious accident after his freshmen year in college. Sister #5, the baby of the family, she has lots to deal with - freshman daughter, ex-husband who brought his partner (I call him Enrique but that is not his name, he is a professor at Brown) to my niece's field hockey game against his daughter's specific request, so Sister #5 had to deal with that as her daughter was crying and Sister #5 was trying to get through coaching a field hockey game where her daughter is a key player (the reason Ethel "got" to win the game since my niece was not there). And along that line, Sister #3's partner introduces herself as my mother's daughter in law, but they know there is only one son and the son seems to show up with "another wife" when he comes to visit. Can you get a "feeling" about how happy UCONN Health Center would be to have us all disappear?

My mother was very happy I postponed my birthday - I told her about my office email. She said that was good and she would buy a cake at some other time for me.

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to write. Good news, bad news you have seen me plow through life of late. My "coming home deal" was exactly to deal with what is going on now...this would have been impossible to deal with remotely and if I had the kind of job I used to have. (Of course "remote" was my operating principle for 30+ years...)

Thank you again. Have a good Sunday.

PS: Another "best thing" you have done for me is Ms. Janice!! If you had not brought me across the street...I have never had a workplace "buddy" before! She "understands" me...not anything people should have for a goal, but she is so good for trying!"

Have a good Sunday. Off to the office.